


Impossible Standards

by ReeLeeV



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9264524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: Shin Hoseok has always set impossible standards for himself, working himself ragged to achieve a certain image. He brushes off his loved ones' concerns, thinking he knows what he's doing. But, does he really?





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since his teen years, Shin Hoseok has been setting what some would call “impossible” standards for his own appearance. He’s dedicated himself to working out as much as he can throughout the years, making do with a makeshift gym at home until he got a job and could afford a membership at a legitimate establishment. One of the best things of becoming a trainee, for him, was the free gym he could use whenever he had the time. He spent every free moment he had in there. If he wasn’t at dance practice or eating, he was working out.

During No Mercy, he had been labeled as the sexy one. Which, if he were to be completely honest, he didn’t mind. He had always known he wasn’t going to beat the others when it came to singing. Kihyun had always had the best voice out of any of the other trainees he’d ever come across. So, he tried to become the best at something else he knew would get him into the final lineup: sex appeal.

When showing off his body every chance he could get had managed to get him into MONSTA X and out of the awful purgatory of being a trainee, he made sure to do so as much as possible during performances. This, of course, kept him in the gym as much as ever. He stuck to a strict diet, and took about ten different supplements a day. But, it was all worth it if it kept him in the group, allowed him to live out his dream… gave him a way to pay his mother back for all those years she had to go without for him.

 

“Hyung,” Hyungwon’s voice calls, pulling him out of his silent stupor. Hoseok looks up from the chicken breast on his plate, raising his eyebrows slightly to signal the model to go on. Hyungwon clears his throat, licking his thick lips before continuing. “Hyung, are you feeling alright?” Hoseok gives a nod, taking a bite from his chicken with renewed vigor to get the younger to stop staring at him with such clear worry.

“You seem tired,” Hyunwoo says bluntly as he tears into the food Kihyun had prepared for the rest of them. 

“Maybe a little,” Hoseok relents, doing his best to remain flippant, “but I’ll be fine after I get a good night’s sleep.” Kihyun sucks in a breath through his teeth, shaking his head without looking at the older.

“It’s all of those extra nights you’re spending working out when you should be sleeping,” Kihyun nags instinctively. “Even Jooheon isn’t working himself as hard as you do. You’re going to end up hurting yourself if you keep on like this.”

“Okay, Mom,” Hoseok says teasingly. “I’m fine, really.” Kihyun glances disbelievingly at him, but doesn’t question his hyung any further all the same. Thankfully, Changkyun changes the topic, easily switching it to a discussion about their next performance with the help of a pun. 

Hyungwon, however, continues to watch Hoseok throughout the meal, his worry for his hyung never leaving him.

 

A few days later, the boys decide to take advantage of a rare free day and go shopping. At first, Hoseok doesn’t plan to go. He’d much rather get a good work-out in while he can. However, when Hyungwon personally invited him to join them, he just couldn’t turn him down. Hoseok could never resist Hyungwon’s plump lips whenever they were turned down in a pout. Or in general, for that matter.

“Hyung,” Changkyun says excitedly as the group walks down the street. He points happily at a storefront with a crude drawing of an ice cream cone on it. Kihyun chuckles while giving the youngest a nod, and follows him into the shop. Jooheon notices the interaction and grabs Hyunwoo’s arm to drag him in after the others. Minhyuk silently follows, beaming amusedly from ear to ear. Hoseok sighs and leans against the storefront, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waits for the others. Hyungwon stands beside him silently, clearly wanting to say something but hesitant to let it slip. 

“What is it, Hyungwonnie?” Hoseok asks as he rests his head on the taller’s shoulder. Hyungwon licks his lips, uncertainty clogging his throat.

“I know you said the other night that you’re doing fine,” he finally relents, “but I don’t think you are. I’m not sure if you realize how exhausted you seem nowadays, hyung. You’re always zoning out while we’re all hanging out together, you’re rarely around the dorm because of how much you work out, and the only time I actually see you sleep is in the car and backstage.” Hoseok is quiet for a while, trying to think of something to say that would pacify the younger’s worries. 

“All I can think to say,” he responds at last, “is that I’m fine, but I know you won’t believe me. You’ve got your stubborn pout on.” Hyungwon’s eyebrows crinkle questioningly at that, causing Hoseok to chuckle under his breath. 

“I don’t have a stubborn pout,” Hyungwon argues, the corners of his lips turning down as his eyebrows scrunch close together. Hoseok laughs as he watches this, sneakily putting his arms around Hyungwon’s waist.

“What have I said about arguing with your hyung?” Hoseok chides jokingly, and before Hyungwon can respond he digs his fingertips into his sides, tickling the younger mercilessly. Hyungwon lurches forward immediately, giggling at the touch. Hoseok lightens up the tickling slightly, but just as Hyungwon begins to catch his breath he quickens it once more. Hoseok becomes distracted by Hyungwon’s light laughter, smiling at the almost angelic sound.

“Hyung!” Changkyun and Jooheon’s voices sing harmoniously, causing the two to turn towards the sound. Hyungwon immediately separates himself from the older at the distraction, covering his smile with a delicate hand in an effort to push down his laughter. The two rappers are each holding two ice cream cones, holding one close to them and the other in an outstretched hand. Hyungwon goes to take the offered ice cream from Jooheon, and smiles his thank you to the younger. Hoseok, despite not really wanting the ice cream in the first place, accepts the treat and ruffles Changkyun’s hair in thanks.

“Thanks Changkyunnie,” Hoseok says, licking the already-melting ice cream. Its fresh citrus taste is pretty nice for the hot weather of the day, and he finds himself ruffling the youngest’s hair once more in appreciation. Changkyun complains as he starts to fix his hairdo, making Hoseok laugh. He couldn’t help but mess with the youngest at times, his reactions being too amusing to pass up. Minhyuk joins them on the sidewalk, wrapping an arm around Jooheon from behind, and is followed by Kihyun and Hyunwoo.

“Thank you, Eomma!” Changkyun says cutely, causing Minhyuk to coo and pull at his cheeks.

The group continues their walk down the street, the parents leading them with intertwined fingers. Hoseok’s eyes linger on the joined hands of their leader and main vocal, feeling somewhat envious of how everything had seemed to work out for them. They were so natural together once the group formed, almost instinctively taking up the parental roles and, shortly after, becoming a couple. He can’t help but glance over at Hyungwon, who is walking in step beside him, an unspoken question in his mind.

He wasn’t sure when his affection for Hyungwon had grown into the next level. He only knew that it had. But, he wasn’t going to do anything about it, not for the time being anyway. He was content for the moment with where they were in their friendship. He was fairly certain Hyungwon didn’t feel the same, so he didn’t want to risk it quite yet. He wasn’t even sure if his feelings were serious enough to act upon, anyway. No, he’d just give it some time to figure things out on his own first.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring at Hyungwon until the latter glances over at him questioningly.

“What is it, hyung? Did Jooheon put ice cream on my face?” Hyungwon immediately begins to wipe at his mouth, but Hoseok only shakes his head.

“Sorry, it’s nothing,” he answers, returning his gaze to the members in front of them. He can feel Hyungwon’s gaze remain on him a moment longer, but the younger says nothing before finally looking away.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, the boys are in the practice room working on their latest routine. It’s a special choreography for an upcoming awards show, and requires at least ten backup dancers along with the original seven. Hoseok pants heavily as they work through the moves, but doesn’t ask for any breaks. He doesn’t want to be a burden and drag the others down just because he gets a little sweaty. 

It’s hard to keep track of time during practices. There’s so much going on all at once that time passes by impossibly fast. Soon enough, the boys stop for a lunch break. They all fall to the floor where they stand, staff members bringing them sandwiches and waters. Hoseok gulps down the first bottle he’s given, earning a curious glance as the same staff member gives him another and leaves him with a third. He drinks through half of the second one, but forces himself to slow down. He wipes at his face with a towel and begins on his food.

 

They practice for a few more hours, everyone very much relieved to stop when they finally do. They slowly begin to file out of the practice room, their limbs shaking from all the hard work they did learning the routine with the backup dancers. Their breaths come out in short, sporadic gasps. Sweat pours off them in waves, multiple hand towels hanging from each member as they try to clean themselves up at least a little bit before they can take showers at the dorm. 

They file down the staircase silently, each too tired to speak. Hoseok stares hard at the ground at his feet, trying very hard to focus his swimming vision. He’s climbed these stairs thousands of times, but his head pounds at even the slightest sound, and he feels dizzier than if he had just gone on ten roller coasters back-to-back. All this makes it extremely difficult for him to climb down these all-too familiar stairs. 

He grips the stair rail with a shaking, sweaty hand, and manages to make it down the first few flights without too much difficulty. However, three flights from the bottom his foot slips on the edge of the top stair. His hand, slick with sweat, slides off the rail, and Hoseok is too exhausted to even yelp in surprise at the ground flying up to his face. 

Luckily, Hyungwon was silently descending the stairs beside him the whole time. He had noticed during practice how his hyung hadn’t taken any breaks or asked for nearly as much water as the others had. He had a feeling, watching the way Hoseok was gripping the railing, he didn’t feel 100%. He watches as Hoseok loses his footing, and immediately grabs his arm with all his strength and pulls him back towards himself. 

The two are at the back of the group, so no one else notices the near-accident. Hoseok looks around in a daze, as if waking up from a nap. His gaze flicks between the model gripping his bicep and the staircase stretching beneath them.

“Thank you, Hyungwonnie,” Hoseok says, his voice dull and trembling slightly. He rubs at his eyes, shaking his head. “I guess I overworked myself today…” Hyungwon can’t help but glare at the older, despite his growing concern for him. 

“Hyung,” he says in a low voice, “promise me you’ll get some sleep when we get back to the dorm. You’re not taking care of yourself like you should.” Hoseok nods, flashing the younger a small grin.

“I’ll take a nap right after I shower,” he assures the younger. “Now come on, let’s catch up with the others.” Hoseok frees his arm from the younger’s grasp gently, and continues down the remaining stairs. Hyungwon stares after him, a terrible sense of foreboding filling him. He’d need to keep a closer eye on that hyung, for his own good.

 

Hoseok is allowed first dibs in the bathroom on the contention that he take a quicker shower than usual. He happily obliges, taking much less time than he usually does in order to get into bed quicker. He lies down, wet hair clinging to his forehead. He’s still slightly warm from the shower, and he can’t help but sigh contentedly as his muscles relax against the mattress beneath him. His eyes slowly close on their own, and Hoseok can’t hold back the wide yawn that escapes him as he turns on his side for more comfort. 

The sound of a door opening causes Hoseok to open his eyes slightly, and he sees Hyungwon coming into the room with a book. His dark hair hangs limp on his head as he rubs a towel through it. His face is slightly flushed from the hot shower, and Hoseok can’t help but stare admiringly at the young man before him. He always looked impossibly good right after getting out of the shower. 

 

Hyungwon glances casually over at Hoseok, who seems to already be asleep. He smiles approvingly at the sight and climbs into his top bunk, a book in his hands. He isn’t really sure if it’s necessary to be babysitting Hoseok like this to make sure he sleeps like he promised, but he couldn’t shake the worry for Hoseok that emerged earlier on the stairs. So, here he was, reading while glancing over at Hoseok every so often to make sure he slept. 

 

Dinner time rolls around soon enough, and Kihyun comes into the room to inform the two. He looks over at a snoring Hoseok, and moves instinctively to wake him up. Hyungwon climbs down from his bunk, and pauses in the doorway to watch as Hoseok stretches his entire body with a wide yawn. He chuckles, thinking his hyung incredibly cute when he first wakes up, but suddenly averts his gaze and goes to the table. He sits next to Minhyuk, who is currently too busy messing with Jooheon to notice his confused expression.

Hoseok stumbles into the room, rubbing at his eyes as he sits down next to Changkyun, opposite Hyungwon. Kihyun is the last to enter, and takes his seat next to Hyunwoo while sucking a breath in through his teeth. He removes the lid from the pot in the middle of the table, the smell of kimchi stew wafting out from the pot and filling the apartment. Hyungwon watches silently as Hoseok slowly becomes aware of his surroundings and the food in front of him, his brightening expression upon realizing the stew in his bowl. He can’t help but chuckle at the almost childlike joy that spreads across Hoseok’s face as he eats the food.

This isn’t the first time Hyungwon has noted his hyung’s adorable tendencies, granted. Living with someone so sexy yet cute had its perks, after all. However, this time calling his hyung cute, if even mentally, feels different to Hyungwon. He can’t quite explain it, finds it hard to describe the warm tingling occurring in his belly as he stares at the older. 

A low chuckle breaks Hyungwon from his thoughts, and he glances over to see Kihyun shoving a spoonful of stew into Hyunwoo’s mouth with a playful smirk. 

“So what if I spoil the maknae?” he questions. “You spoil Jooheon-ah, so I get to spoil Changkyunnie.” Hyunwoo chuckles at the shorter, and Hyungwon averts his gaze before their romantic act becomes any more nauseating. 

It isn’t as if Hyungwon isn’t happy for the couple. On the contrary, if they hadn’t hooked up when they did Hyungwon would’ve gotten them together one way or another. The sexual tension between those two had been so thick you could cut it with a knife. Luckily, though, it turned out he didn’t need to intervene in their personal lives in such a way. However, as soon as they had become a couple, the two had become sickeningly sweet with each other. Really, it was sometimes hard for Hyungwon to be around.

 

Minhyuk had called him jealous when Hyungwon had been complaining to the older shortly after the parents became an official couple.

“I’m not jealous,” Hyungwon had said, staring at Minhyuk confusedly. “I don’t feel like that for either of them.”

“Not jealous of either of them for having the other,” Minhyuk had said, “but of what they have in general. Have you ever been in a relationship, Hyungwonnie?” At Hyungwon’s silence, Minhyuk only nodded. “You’re jealous of seeing a couple as perfect as those two are for each other, yet you don’t have anyone like that yourself. I don’t blame you,” he had quickly added, “I feel the same way. But, at least you like someone like that, and they like you back.”

“What do you mean?” Hyungwon had asked, not knowing what he meant. “I don’t have feelings like that for anyone right now.” Minhyuk had given him an incredulous stare, unsure if he was serious.

“You and Hoseok-hyung aren’t…?” Minhyuk had said, causing Hyungwon to adamantly shake his head immediately. 

“Hoseok-hyung and I aren’t involved like that,” he had answered easily. Minhyuk was quiet for a while after that, as if not quite believing the younger’s statement. They had left it at that, Minhyuk never mentioning it again. However, that question had managed to stick in the back of Hyungwon’s mind for the month since they had that conversation.

 

Hyungwon comes back to the present, his vision slightly fogged by the steam rising from the stew hitting his glasses. He removes them to clean them, and catches Hoseok staring at him with a small smile painting his face. The expression causes the warm tingling sensation to return, and he’s thankful when Hoseok averts his gaze to participate in the conversation going on around them. Hyungwon takes a bite of the stew, forbidding thoughts about Minhyuk’s assumption to reenter his mind and forcing himself to engage in conversation.


	3. Chapter 3

Kihyun cleans up the dirty dishes after dinner, Changkyun picking up the plates and bowls and placing them in the sink before scurrying off to watch TV with the others. Hyunwoo stays behind and dries the clean dishes before stacking them on the counter to put away. They work in a comfortable silence, content to just be in each other's presence. Sounds from the living room float into the kitchen, raucous laughter filling Kihyun’s ears. He can’t help but laugh affectionately at their obnoxious behavior. 

“Kihyunnie,” Hyunwoo murmurs, low enough for only Kihyun to hear. Kihyun glances over curiously at the older, silently prompting him to continue. “Are you sure Hoseok is doing alright? You noticed today how he worked himself ragged, I’m sure. That, along with how reserved he’s been lately… It makes me worry.” 

Kihyun smiles over at him. He can’t help but smile whenever this side of Hyunwoo shows itself, the incredibly considerate side that only shows itself on camera every once in a while. It’s one of the more endearing qualities of his, this silent weariness for the health of the members under his leadership. It’s partly why, Kihyun came to realize as he grew to know Hyunwoo better, that he’s always been so hesitant as group leader. He didn’t want to make a call that ended up getting someone hurt.

Hyunwoo looks over at Kihyun, wondering why the shorter had suddenly become so quiet. Kihyun flashes him a dimpled grin, shrugging as he pushes his thoughts to the side and focuses on the conversation at hand. 

“He is overworking himself,” he says, “but I don’t know if we’d be able to force him to lighten up. We can talk to him about it as much as we want, but that won’t do much unless he recognizes the problem and fixes it himself.” Hyunwoo hums thoughtfully, returning his gaze to the dishes before him. “All we can really do for now is keep an eye on him, make sure he takes breaks during practices and keeps himself hydrated and rested.” He sets a comforting hand on Hyunwoo’s arm, a slight tingling sensation coming from his fingertips upon touching the soft arm.

“With everyone keeping an eye on him,” he finishes, “there’s no need to worry. We’re a family, we keep each other in check. He’ll be fine in the end.” Hyunwoo smiles gratefully at Kihyun, kissing the top of his head lovingly. He always knew the right things to say, and Hyunwoo loved him for it. 

Minhyuk comes into the kitchen, grabs some snacks, and goes back to the living room without saying a word. Kihyun watches him, having to bite his tongue at nagging the older for eating too much. It’s a good thing that he’s eating so much, Kihyun silently reminds himself. He and Hyungwon have been wanting to gain weight for a while now, so they’re finally living up to their wish. 

 

The two finish cleaning soon enough, and join the others with a few more snacks in their arms. The group falls asleep on the couch that night, the sound of the TV lulling each of them into a deep sleep one by one.

 

The next morning, Kihyun is the first to wake up, as always. He goes into the kitchen after wriggling his way out of Hyunwoo’s arms, and looks into the fridge for something to eat. By the time he has the ingredients pulled out to make breakfast, Changkyun joins him and automatically begins to help him. 

By the time the meal is prepared, everyone but Hyungwon is up and sitting around the table. Kihyun moves as if to wake the sleeping, lanky form on the couch, but Hoseok stands and goes instead. 

“You focus on the food, Kihyun-ah,” he tells the younger. “I’ve got this.” Kihyun nods and begins to serve the breakfast.

Hoseok approaches the sleeping Hyungwon, his heartbeat quickening upon seeing the beautiful boy’s face so peaceful. Hyungwon is always so still when he sleeps, the only sign that he is actually asleep being the soft snore escaping his slightly parted lips every so often. Hoseok gently shakes his shoulder, cooing his name softly. He never liked how Kihyun has so roughly awoken Hyungwon in the past, shouting at him and hitting him with whatever he could find. Sure, that was the only way Kihyun could get the younger awake the majority of the time, but Hoseok didn’t like it nonetheless.

“Hyungwonnie,” Hoseok calls softly once more. Hyungwon stirs a little, humming in annoyance. Hoseok honestly had no idea why it was so hard for Kihyun to wake Hyungwon up all the time. He had a feeling Hyungwon was somehow doing it on purpose, meaning to spite the shorter even in his sleep, for it’s always been easy for Hoseok to awaken Hyungwon without resorting to such violent extremes.

He calls Hyungwon’s name again, shaking his shoulder a bit quicker than before. Hyungwon groans in protest, turning on his side. Hoseok chuckles lowly at the younger’s actions and sighs.

“If you don’t wake up now,” Hoseok murmurs into his ear, “I’ll be forced to tickle you. You don’t want that, now do you?” There’s no response, and Hoseok shoves the bangs out of his eyes in slight annoyance. “Come on, Hyungwon-ah. You’ll be annoyed with me if I wake you up like that. Don’t make me.” He finds himself pouting at the sleeping form before him, as if Hyungwon can somehow see him through the back of his head.

The younger murmurs something unintelligible under his breath in response, surprising Hoseok. He didn’t think Hyungwon had actually been aware enough to process what he said. Hoseok wraps his arms around the young man, and blows a quick burst of cold air into his ear. Hyungwon jolts forward, groaning in annoyance.

“Let me sleep, hyung,” he mumbles. Hoseok silently shakes his head, and resorts to tickling the younger. A giggle escapes Hyungwon’s lips, much to his dismay. 

“We’ve got a bunch of interviews today,” Hoseok tells him, “so I can’t let you sleep. You’ve got to eat breakfast before we leave.” Hoseok pulls away, ignoring how much he dislikes having to do so, and Hyungwon sighs before sitting up on the couch. He stares dully at his lap, trying to get his bearings before having to stand. He gets up and shuffles towards the bathroom, mumbling that he’d be at the table soon while rubbing at his eyes. Hoseok watches his movements, lingering a second too long in the living room before returning to the table. 

 

The boys take their seats around the DJ table, Hoseok making sure to sit beside Minhyuk to make himself feel more at ease. The commercials play on as they get settled, putting on their headphones and adjusting the positions of the microphones to better suit them. The DJ greets them kindly and begins to explain what they’ll be discussing as Hoseok skims over the script. It seems to be the usual questions, and Hoseok takes a deep breath to relax himself. 

It’s about halfway through the interview when Hoseok is asked the classic question about how he maintains his body. He goes through the short explanation, not really wanting to spend too much time on the subject. The DJ makes a sound of awe in his throat, a typical response. He goes on to ask the members what they’ve all been doing with their free time, a question asked by one of the listeners.

“I work out,” Hoseok answers once the DJ reaches him after going around the table. 

“Seems like you focus a lot on your body,” he comments with a small laugh.

“He does,” Hyungwon says, and everyone is taken aback by his sudden input. “He works himself to death in practices and the gym, trying to be perfect for the group. It worries us how hard he's working, actually.” Hoseok stares at Hyungwon with an unreadable expression, surprise at the younger’s bluntness on the matter making it hard for him to think of what to say. Hyungwon gives Hoseok a hard stare, making sure the older is actually hearing what he’s saying. The air in the studio changes, tensing up as if a switch has been flipped. Seconds of silence pass, the members glancing at one another, all wondering why Hyungwon’s tone had been so abrasive just then. Sure, it bothered everyone that Hoseok wasn't taking care of himself, but they needed to keep themselves in check whenever they were on air like this.

“Hyung works out a lot these days,” Kihyun smoothly states after a moment, nodding as if that one comment finishes the conversation. Minhyuk nods himself with a small smile, and quickly changes the topic with what he’s been doing with his free time. As the DJ and Minhyuk begin to bond over their mutual love of a popular video game, Hoseok can’t help but stare at Hyungwon in confusion. Hyungwon breaks his gaze on his hyung, moving his gaze to the table instead. 

Neither find it quite as easy to speak the rest of the interview, a silent tension never leaving them for the remaining time.


	4. Chapter 4

“I don’t know why I said it, hyung,” Hyungwon says defensively. He’s sitting in Minhyuk’s room, talking with him about what had happened during the radio interview. Hoseok and Hyungwon hadn’t spoken much since the interview, aside from answering questions during the remaining conferences throughout the day. As soon as they had returned to the dorm, Hoseok had asked their manager to drive him to the company building to use the gym, giving Minhyuk the perfect opportunity to drag Hyungwon into a more private setting to discuss what had happened.

“We’re all worried about him,” Minhyuk tells him gently, setting a gentle hand on the taller’s shoulder, “but we need to make sure not to let our emotions control what we say. We need to reign in ourselves during interviews, okay?” Hyungwon nods, rubbing his face with his hands. He worries if Hoseok is mad at him for calling him out during the interview. Hoseok has always been sensitive about being talked about on-air, even if it’s only teasing. The fact that it’s a real issue around the dorm right now, in Hyungwon’s anxious mind, only makes it worse.

“I hope I didn’t mess up the interview too much,” Hyungwon murmurs. He can’t bring himself to voice his real worries about the situation to Minhyuk, although he doesn’t know why. He’s never had an issue opening up to the older before. Maybe it’s the memory of Minhyuk’s comment about himself and Hoseok having feelings for each other that’s been oddly prevalent in his mind lately, although that would be odd. Why now, after so many months after the fact? Minhyuk shakes his head, completely oblivious to Hyungwon’s inner turmoil, and gives him a smile. 

“Not at all, Hyungwon-ah,” he assures the younger as he stands. “Come on, let’s see if we can get Kihyun-ah to make us some seaweed soup tonight.” Hyungwon hums in agreement, standing to follow the older from the room. Maybe he’ll try talking to Hoseok when he gets home, to make sure the older isn’t as mad at him as he thinks.

 

In the gym, Hoseok’s breaths come out in annoyed huffs as he bench presses fifty pounds. He can’t get the almost accusatory glare he had received from Hyungwon earlier out of his head. It’s all he can see when he closes his eyes. Is it possible that Hyungwon was mad at him for something else? Hoseok tried to remember if he had said or done anything to the younger to have earned such a look from him, but he couldn’t think of anything. 

He sets the steel bar in its place, and moves out from under it with a sigh. He grabs the towel at the foot of the bench and wipes at his face. Silently taking a long drink of water, he glances at his watch. He’d been there for nearly six hours, it’s probably time he heads back to the dorm. He’d managed to avoid the group dinner, and the silence that’d be sure to occur if he and Hyungwon were in the same room again. Even their car ride home had been almost unbearably tense the entire trip, which never happened. 

Hoseok can’t shake the feeling that he and Hyungwon were in some sort of fight, but over what he has no idea, and that’s incredibly more frustrating than the fight itself. Hoseok heaves one more sigh as he stands. He collects his things and goes to request a ride home, for once not exactly relishing the thought of seeing his dear Hyungwonnie again so soon.

 

Luckily, the others are all in bed by the time Hoseok gets to the dorm. He slips off his shoes at the door as quietly as possible, and shuffles into the kitchen to see if there are any leftovers from dinner. Sure enough, there’s a bowl of seaweed soup in the refrigerator with a little note from Kihyun, telling him to eat the soup and go straight to bed (and also to make sure he actually puts his shoes on the rack by the door for once, since Kihyun had just organized it all earlier that night). Hoseok can’t help but chuckle soundlessly at the note. He crumples it up and retrieves a spoon before sitting down at the table and devouring the food. 

Once finished, he washes the dishes and places them on the drying rack, knowing he’d never hear the end of it from Kihyun the next morning if he were to leave dirty dishes in the sink. He moves towards his shared bedroom, but then glances over at the shoe-rack by the door. He shakes his head at himself and goes to place his shoes on it before finally going to his bed.

Hoseok enters his bedroom as quietly as possible. Even though it’s incredibly difficult to wake up Hyunwoo and Hyungwon, he still didn’t want to chance it. He knows he’ll have to speak with Hyungwon about what happened eventually, but he didn’t think tonight a good time to do so, especially if he had accidentally awoken the younger. That’d only make matters worse. He settles on his bed and closes his eyes, wishing to fall asleep quickly and leave this worry about his and Hyungwon’s relationship to deal with another day.

 

Hyungwon is vaguely aware of someone entering the bedroom an hour after everyone had gone to bed. He had been lying there all the while, unconsciously waiting for the sounds of his hyung’s return home. He had taken note of the time when he heard the front door open and the rustling about in the kitchen, unable to fight the annoyed sigh upon seeing how late it was. He can’t shake the feeling that the older is somehow trying to avoid him, which only makes him feel worse about calling him out on air. If he hadn’t have done that, if he’d have just managed to just bite his tongue, then he wouldn’t be in this awkward somewhat-fight with Hoseok right now.

 

The next morning, Kihyun gets everyone up and ready to go much quicker than usual. Hyungwon, surprisingly, is easy to awaken, mostly due to the fact that he was merely pretending to be asleep in the first place. Hoseok takes an unusually short time in the shower, not exactly feeling like relishing in the deliciously scented soaps and shampoos fans have given him in the past. He hadn’t slept at all that night, either, his worry for Hyungwon’s attitude towards him making it impossible for him to sleep. The odd changes in behavior from these two cause the others to give each other questioning looks throughout the morning, each one silently asking the other if they know what’s going on. However, they are all clueless to what’s going on.

They all head to the company building for another day of dance practice. Minhyuk attempts to bring up the tense mood by chatting up a storm with anyone who’ll go along, joking around with Jooheon, and requesting some classic party songs amongst the boys be played up front. However, none of this seems to pull Hoseok nor Hyungwon out of the emotional funk they’re in. Minhyuk gives up as they reach the Starship building, very much unnerved by the situation.

 

Hyungwon watches Hoseok all throughout practice. He doesn’t mean to. He wants to give his hyung some space, since he’s so clearly mad about what happened the previous day, but he can’t help watching as Hoseok overworks himself. He takes note of all the times everyone, including himself, asks for water, and how many times Hoseok doesn’t. They all even offer their own water to him as they take individual breaks, but Hoseok only shakes his head with a smile as he continues to perfect his moves.

 

“Hyung,” Changkyun says to Hoseok as they start to the door. He isn’t sure if the older heard when they all decided to call it a day, for he’s still practicing like crazy in the mirror. Hoseok takes a moment to register the maknae’s call, and turns to him mid-move. “Aren’t you coming back with us?” Hoseok shakes his head, taking another moment to catch his breath before explaining himself.

“I’m not quite satisfied with my grasp on the choreography yet,” he tells his group, who are all staring at him with varying degrees of bewilderment. “Besides, I think I might hit the gym again tonight.” They all hover around the door, not liking the sound of that at all. Hyunwoo opens his mouth to protest, but Hyungwon suddenly steps forward.

“I think I’ll stay behind as well,” he says, surprising everyone. Hyungwon hadn’t said much at all throughout the day, and the little that he did say was in no way directed to Hoseok. Hoseok blinks confusedly at the younger, but nods all the same after a few moments. The group then begin to file from the room, finding it much easier to accept Hoseok’s staying behind if there’s someone with him.

Hoseok wipes his face with a towel, waving goodbye to the others as they file out one by one. Soon enough only Hyungwon is left in the room with him. He moves towards the table on the far end of the room the staff had set up with an innumerable amount of bottles of water. A wave of dizziness hitting him as soon as he begins to move away from his spot. His legs wobble slightly, and he finds himself having to lean on the table for support.

“Hyung,” Hyungwon calls, worriedly walking to his side. He doesn’t care if Hoseok is mad with him right now, the older looks absolutely awful. His entire form is shaking like a leaf, his face much paler and sweatier than it should be.

Hoseok can’t hold back the tired grin at hearing the younger call for him. He manages to turn to face him, still keeping a shaking hand on the table. His vision seems to be darkening, but he can’t tell whether or not if it’s only his imagination. 

“Hyungwonnie,” Hoseok begins. He lets out a shaky breath, feeling his legs become weaker and weaker with every breath he takes. His vision begins to swim, worsening his nausea. He breaks his gaze on Hyungwon, turning to look at the benches lining the side of the practice room. He separates himself from the table to sit down. His knees suddenly give out on him upon having to support his full weight once more. His vision suddenly goes black, and the last thing he’s aware of his Hyungwon taking him up in his arms and shouting his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A//N: Hi, hello, annyeong~! Thank you all who have been reading, commenting, and giving kudos on this fic! Really, I did not expect such a response. I can't describe to you how thankful and humbled I am by all of your support. Sadly, though, I think this fic will be coming to a close soon enough. But, don't worry! If you like what you're reading, I've got a couple more projects in the works you can anticipate!  
> Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude to you all. (Again, thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!! It's impossible to put into words how much your support means to me.)  
> MONSTA X fighting! Monbebe fighting!  
> <3 ReeLeeV


	5. Chapter 5

Hyungwon pulls Hoseok’s unconscious form close to his chest, calling out his name as loud as he can. This does nothing, though. Hoseok is out cold. Hyungwon gently sets his hyung down on the floor, and runs out to the staircase. It hasn’t been too long since the others left, surely they haven’t driven off yet. 

Luckily, Hyungwon finds them still descending the stairs. They all turn surprisedly at his panicked callings for them. He stops a flight of stairs above them, heaving out his words.

“Hoseok-hyung…” he begins, his lungs on fire. He glances up towards the practice room worriedly, suddenly wondering if he really should’ve left the older there alone in the first place. Hyunwoo is the first to act, already running back up the stairs at top speed. Hyungwon follows, indescribable anxiety coursing through his veins.

Upon seeing Hoseok passed out on the floor, Hyunwoo immediately goes to pick him up. Hyungwon watches his leader delicately pluck Hoseok up from the floor, numbly moving out of the way as to allow the hyung to carry him down the stairs. The others follow the oldest to the car in a frenzy, doing their best not to panic at the sight of an unconscious member. Hyungwon finds it hard to move, fear for Hoseok’s wellbeing paralyzing him. Minhyuk notices this, how deathly still Hyungwon has become. His expression is unreadable as he dully stares after Hyunwoo carrying Hoseok’s limp form down the staircase.

“Hyungwon-ah,” Minhyuk says gently, pulling the taller by the wrist. Hyungwon’s gaze snaps away from the staircase and down to his wrist. He looks into Minhyuk’s eyes, his own watering slightly at the emotions running rampant within him. Minhyuk only offers him a small, supportive smile as he leads the younger down the stairs. 

 

The boys are all sitting around in the waiting room, each trying to keep calm in their own way. Their manager sits off in a corner, tapping his pen on the clipboard every so often as he fills out the necessary paperwork. Hyunwoo and Kihyun sit close together, Kihyun tapping his foot on the floor as Hyunwoo draws comforting circles on his back. Jooheon and Minhyuk tightly grasp each other’s hands, Jooheon’s lips moving in a silent prayer. Chankgyun sits cross-legged in a chair, staring with unseeing eyes at his folded hands lying in his lap. 

Hyungwon paces around the area, unable to sit still. He runs his hands through his hair worriedly as he waits for a doctor to come and explain just what is going on. He can’t get the scene out of his head. Hoseok had given him an almost impossibly endearing smile, and then suddenly collapsed. Seeing that smile, if only for an instant, had lifted all of Hyungwon’s concerns about their stupid fight, but then it all came crashing down as his hyung fell to the floor.

A tall man in a white lab coat comes into the waiting room, and calls for those there for Shin Hoseok. The entire group rushes to the doctor at once, watching uneasily as he looks pointedly at their manager.

“Are you his father?” the doctor asks. Hongsik shakes his head, handing the clipboard over.

“I’m his manager,” Hongsik explains. “His parents know of the situation, and are on their way. But, they live pretty far away so it may be some time before they get here.” The doctor nods, quite used to having to treat idols by now and the situation of having to deal with the manager instead of the parents.

“He’ll be fine,” he announces, earning a collective sigh from the group. “He’s just exhausted, to put it simply. He’s also suffering from dehydration and malnutrition, but we’re treating him for that. We’d like to keep him for a couple days to allow him proper time to recuperate.” Hongsik immediately agrees, wanting to do whatever it takes to get Hoseok back to 100%. “He’s resting now, so you all should come back tomorrow to see him.” 

There’s a pause as the group exchanges crestfallen glances. None of them want to leave before at least checking up on Hoseok, but they also don’t want to disturb his sleep. Hyungwon, especially, doesn’t want to leave him alone. He doesn’t want Hoseok to wake up in a strange place without a familiar face around, knowing that could send the older into a panic.

“Can’t someone stay behind, just to sit with him until he wakes up?” Hyungwon asks. The doctor gives him a considering stare, carefully thinking over the question. Finally, he gives a nod in response. Hyungwon’s head immediately whips around to face Hongsik, silently begging him to allow Hyungwon to stay behind. Hongsik only hesitates a moment before giving the idol a small nod and an encouraging grin. Hyungwon grasps his manager’s hand thankfully, smiling at the middle-aged man with overflowing gratitude. He says goodbye to the other members, accepting and returning hugs with each of them before they wordlessly begin to shuffle away.

“We’ll come back early tomorrow,” Hongsik assures them. He nods at Hyungwon once more, squeezing his shoulder supportively before walking away to speak with the doctor for a bit before leaving. Hyungwon waits for the doctor’s return, and then is led to Hoseok’s room.

“Please, allow him to sleep as much as he can,” the doctor says as he turns to leave Hyungwon alone. “In order for him to get better, his body must rest.” Hyungwon nods, assuring the doctor he has no intention of waking up the patient. The doctor nods one last time, and then exits the room. Hyungwon stands in the doorway a moment, hesitant to get any closer to Hoseok for fear of waking him.

Eventually, though, he moves closer to the older’s side. A chair is already set near the bed, so Hyungwon sits there as quietly as he can. He stares at Hoseok’s face, his heart growing warm instantly at seeing him. Hoseok stirs slightly in his sleep, mumbling something as he turns to face Hyungwon. Hyungwon sits impossibly still, worried he’s somehow awoken him. However, as the seconds tick by, it becomes clear he hasn’t. He releases a relieved breath, and leans forward in his chair.

He studies Hoseok’s features, loving every curve and edge of his face. He finds himself smiling, all worry from earlier melting away. His hand absentmindedly reaches up and grasps his hyung’s tightly.  
“You and Hoseok-hyung aren’t…?”

Minhyuk’s words echo in his ears, seemingly amplified due to the silence of the room. Hyungwon finds himself thinking back to all the times Hoseok had made him laugh, all the times he’d annoyed Hyungwon to no end. He thinks of how he hasn’t said but one word to Hoseok in the past twenty-four hours, and his guilt concerning the fight returns.

Seeing Hoseok like this, pale and unconscious in a hospital bed, causes forbidden thoughts to enter Hyungwon’s mind. What if he had lost Hoseok tonight? What if his prognosis had been terribly worse than it is? Hyungwon finds himself tearing up instantly at the notion of losing Hoseok, causing him to grip onto the older’s hand even tighter. His heart and lungs constrict and shake within him as he tries to push the fears he’d felt earlier when Hoseok first collapsed out of his thoughts.

He wipes away the tears with a shaking hand, shocked at how easily the thought had brought him to tears. He isn’t exactly one of the sentimental members of the group, after all. He loves Hoseok as a hyung, of course, and the thought of living without him seems more like a nightmare than anything else. The sight of Minhyuk’s implying gaze that there’s something more to Hoseok and Hyungwon’s relationship swims in front of his vision. He glances down at their joined hands. He tries to tell himself to let go, as if trying to prove something to himself, but he can’t bring himself to do so.

“Hyung…wonnie…” Hoseok mumbles, causing the younger’s gaze to shift up to him. Moments pass, and Hyungwon figures the older is just talking in his sleep. Hoseok calls for him once more, a conflicted expression skipping across his face. Hyungwon finds himself squeezing his hand comfortingly. As if knowing he’s there, Hoseok gives a small sigh and smiles in his sleep. Upon seeing the smile, Hyungwon can’t help but chuckle slightly. 

So what if I do like him, Hyungwon thinks suddenly. It isn’t as if there’s anything wrong with that. After all, the parents are already dating, what’s one more couple in the group? Hyungwon can’t deny the special place meant only for Hoseok in his heart. He’s always had a specific affection for the older that he didn’t have for the others ever since their days during No Mercy. He never really gave it much thought before, though, not bothering to put a label on it. 

However, watching Hoseok sleep away carelessly in this hospital bed for the first time for what seemed like months, Hyungwon realizes what this feeling is now.

Hyungwon has to stifle a groan of annoyance. Why is it that Minhyuk is always right about these things?


	6. Chapter 6

Hoseok doesn’t dream often, but when he does it’s of Hyungwon. Used to, when he was a trainee, it’d be of those glory days after debut, of living at the top of the music world. But now, he only ever sees Hyungwon. 

He dreams of an impossible future for them, with a cute little apartment and a couple of cats. The other group members would visit on the weekends, Kihyun and Hyunwoo with a couple kids in tow. Jooheon and Minhyuk would spend half the time joking around with the others, and the other half the time messing with the kids. Changkyunnie would be a famous solo artist, and his raps would flow throughout the apartment, reminding everyone of the good old days.

Hyungwon would try to cook something for everyone, but it would turn out disastrous and need Kihyun’s intervention. They’d spend every weekend like this, their family gathering together and never losing touch even after the days their group’s contract is dissolved.

 

Hoseok opens his eyes slowly, a blinding white light hanging above him. He groans, his voice coming out surprisingly hoarse. Looking around, he sees two things. One: he’s mysteriously turned up in a hospital room, and two: Hyungwon’s sleeping form leaned forward in a chair, his head resting next to Hoseok’s side. Hoseok tries to remember why he might be in a hospital of all places, but the last thing he can recall is telling his members he’d stay behind in dance practice. Hyungwon had said he’d stay as well, and the others left before either said anything. Then he got all dizzy and it was hard to stand and…

Ah, crap. He had passed out right there in front of Hyungwon. He must’ve sent the younger into a panic fainting like that. He sighs at himself, guilt gnawing at him. The others must be so worried, too. Hyungwon hums in his sleep, his breath quickening ever so slightly. His head slides closer to Hoseok, pressing itself into his side. Hyungwon’s eyes flutter open, and he licks his lips as he lifts his gaze to look around.

Their eyes meet, and instantly they share a small, sweet smile.

“How are you feeling, hyung?” Hyungwon asks in a faint voice. Hoseok hums in thought, unable to deny the happiness he feels at the younger speaking with him again.

“Better than I was, honestly,” he answers, absentmindedly beginning to run his thumb over Hyungwon’s knuckles. He then realizes what he’s doing, and glances down at their joined hands. Hyungwon tightens his grip, a silent question within the action. Hoseok’s smile grows upon returning the gesture almost immediately, a tingling sensation beginning in the pit of his stomach. They both chuckle happily at the exchange, each knowing instinctively what’s just passed between them. Hoseok brings Hyungwon’s hand up to his lips, pressing them against the back of his hand lovingly.

“I’m sorry that I—“

“No, hyung,” Hyungwon interrupts, his other hand grasping Hoseok’s as he brings it closer to him. “You don’t need to apologize. I should’ve done more to get you to stop. But, don’t worry. You’ll be out of here soon, and the night you come back to the dorm I’ll make as much ramyeon as you can eat.” Hoseok can’t help but pause, flashing back to the last time the younger had tried his hand at his favorite dish.

“You don’t have to do that,” he says, laughing sheepishly. 

“What I mean,” Hyungwon continues understandingly, “is that Kihyun-hyung will make you all the ramyeon you can eat at my request.” Hoseok laughs again, this time with much more gusto. A nurse pokes her head into the room at the sudden noise, and enters to check Hoseok’s vitals. She also checks for a concussion, but concludes that he’s completely fine and should be able to leave by the end of the next day. She leaves, telling them she’ll inform the doctor of his condition.

“Hongsik-hyung didn’t call my parents, did he?” Hoseok asks after she’s left, immediately picturing them doing everything they can to be in Seorae Village as fast as humanly possible. Hyungwon nods, and Hoseok shakes his head. He looks around the room and spots a phone, immediately going to pick it up.

“What’re you doing?” Hyungwon says, watching his actions.

“I’m calling my parents,” the older explains. “I’m fine, there’s no need for them to kill themselves just to get here.”

“Let them come, hyung,” he says, snatching the phone away. “You haven’t seen them in over a month, and I’m sure your mother is out of her mind knowing that you’re in a hospital right now. Just let them come and visit you. Besides,” he adds as an afterthought, “they’re probably nearly here by now. You’d be wasting a phone call.” Hoseok sighs, relenting easily at the younger’s words. He returns the phone to its place, not exactly relishing the thought of his mother busting into the hospital in a frenzy.

“I hate to be so much trouble,” he mumbles, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

“You’re never any trouble,” Hyungwon assures him. 

The two fall into a comfortable silence, just happy to be in each other’s presence.

 

Hours later, the room is taken up into a flurry of activity as the other group members, their manager, and Hoseok’s parents all arrive to check on him. Hyungwon separates himself as soon as everyone enters, his hand feeling oddly empty the moment it drops Hoseok’s. Minhyuk watches the action, his eyes fast as lightening as he watches the regretful exchange between the two as everyone comes in.

Hoseok’s mother propels herself towards her son, her heart breaking upon seeing her precious child in a hospital bed. She hugs him close and showers him with kisses, asking a million questions a second. Hoseok can only silently hug her back, secretly grateful to be able to see his mom again. Minhyuk moves closer to Hyungwon, handing him a bag of clothes. Hyungwon takes it, realizing he was still in the clothes he’d been practicing in all of yesterday, and excuses himself with a bow to go change. Minhyuk hesitates only a moment before following, needing answers.

“What’s the deal with you two?” he asks once they’re far enough away from the room. “Did you finally have the heartfelt discussion that’s been needing to happen ever since we debuted? Are you two an item now?” Hyungwon suddenly realizes what Hoseok must’ve felt like moments before having questions fired at him like crazy. Only difference is, he’s actually expected to answer.

Trouble is, he’s unsure of how to answer. 

Sure the boys would be okay with the situation, with having another couple in the group. Hell, Hyungwon figures Jooheon and Minhyuk wouldn’t be far behind on the couple train considering how close they seem to be lately. But, it isn’t as if they verbally discussed the situation. Hyungwon is sure that Hoseok feels the same way, judging by how the older had looked at him when he first woke up, but now, with Minhyuk asking him these things, he isn’t sure. 

“Kind of,” is the only thing Hyungwon can think to say. Minhyuk suddenly squeals in delight, surprising Hyungwon so much that he jumps mid-step. Minhyuk hugs Hyungwon in congratulations, terribly happy for the younger.

“That’s fantastic!” Minhyuk says. They come to the bathroom, and Minhyuk can’t help but hug the taller again. “Okay, I’m going back to the room. Please, try to clean up some in the sink. You look awful.” He then flashes him a bright smile, and then turns to head back to the room. Hyungwon sighs, shaking his head as he enters the bathroom. He glances at his reflection in the mirror upon entering, having to hold back a groan at Minhyuk being right once again. He looks absolutely terrible.

 

Hoseok’s parents refuse to leave their son alone until he’s released from the hospital, which ends up being in two days’ time. Throughout this, Hyungwon only visits with the other members, leaving Hoseok alone to spend time with his family. This causes Hoseok to question just what had passed between them when he first awoke in his room. Had he misinterpreted what Hyungwon was trying to ask him? Was Hyungwon not really romantically interested in him? He wants to ask the younger for clarification, but can’t because of his looming parents.

He had come out as bisexual to his parents in his teen years, and they had accepted him with ease. His parents had always been amazingly progressive like that. It wasn’t that he’s never been attracted to the opposite sex. On the contrary, he’s been in only two serious relationships in his life, and one was with a woman. But, the other had been with a man. 

Memories of the past, before Starship and finding his perfect Hyungwonnie, fill his mind as his mother rattles on and on about not allowing something like this to happen again, her incessant nagging reminding him of Kihyun and making him miss the dorm. 

“Mom, Dad,” he says suddenly, images of his dream from before flashing in his vision, “there’s something I need to tell you.” His parents pause in what they’re doing to face him, his tense tone giving them cause for concern. “I… I think I’ve found someone. He’s been important to me for a while now, but I haven’t let myself really realize just how important. But, now I have, and there’s no way I’m letting him go. I ask that you please accept him when I officially introduce you two.” He bows his head respectfully, waiting for a reply.

“I don’t suppose it’s that handsome, tall boy in your group who was sitting with you your first night here, is it?” his mother asks, causing Hoseok to look up at her questioningly. She only smiles. “A mother always knows, dear. It’s so obvious when you look at him how much you love him.” She and his father share a glance before nodding simultaneously. “Of course we’ll accept him, as long as he makes you happy.”

“Thank you,” Hoseok says, feeling tearful at how grateful he is to have parents such as his. 

Now, he thinks, time to clarify a couple things with that Hyungwonnie…


	7. Chapter 7

Hoseok is led by Hyungwon’s strong yet gentle grip on his hand back into the dorm, a blindfold covering his eyes. As soon as they had pulled up to the building, Hyungwon had insisted on his hyung adorning the cutesy animal eye-covering, the cartoonish pink rabbit design being picked out especially for him. Hoseok has no choice but to comply, finding it as impossible as ever to deny giving the younger what he wants. 

“Ready, hyung?” Hyungwon asks, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. Hoseok chuckles, giving him a small nod. There’s the sound of a door opening, and the eye mask is removed. There’s no one to be seen in the living room, and Hoseok glances over at Hyungwon confusedly. 

“What’re you—?”

His words are suddenly cut off by a chorus of exclamations, causing him to shout in surprise. The other members jump up from behind the couch and doorways, beaming from ear to ear at seeing their beloved Hoseok back home. Hoseok laughs again, this time understanding just what they had all been up to. Hyungwon squeezes the older’s hand happily before dropping it, reminding Hoseok yet again that they needed to have a serious conversation, and walks forward to join the other members.

“Welcome home, hyung!” Changkyun declares once again, bouncing forward to place an honorary party hat on his head. Hoseok chuckles as he ruffles the maknae’s hair affectionately, pulling him in for a tight hug.

“Thank you, Changkyunnie,” he says. He breaks away from the youngest and inhales deeply, catching an all-too familiar smell.

“As promised,” Hyungwon announces at his expectant grin, “I asked Kihyun-hyung to make enough ramyeon to feed all of us ten times over!” Hoseok laughs excitedly, his mouth already watering at the notion.

“Then what’re we waiting for?” he finds himself saying. “Let’s eat!” He begins to kick off his shoes and enters the apartment as the others file into the kitchen, but Kihyun remains behind to glare pointedly at the shoe rack. Hoseok can’t hold back his sigh as he bends to put his shoes on the rack. “I just got back home, Kihyun-ssi. Can’t you hold off on the nagging for one night?” Kihyun gives a small laugh at that.

“Technically, it was only an implied nag,” he tells the older, “so it’s okay.” The two then go into the kitchen, each silently glad to have the other around again despite his aggravating quirks. 

 

The group spends hours around the table, talking, drinking, and eating. The apartment hasn’t been this lively in a long time, and no one wants to be the first to dampen the mood by calling it a night and going to bed. Luckily for all of them, they have a free day the next day, so they are able to stay up as late and drink as much as they want. 

After eating all the ramyeon Kihyun had prepared, they all move to the couch to watch movies. Hyunwoo and Kihyun take up one corner, snuggling nauseatingly with each other. Jooheon and Minhyuk are in the other corner, Minhyuk in Jooheon’s lap and his head on the rapper’s shoulders. Changkyun sits on the floor in front of the couch, playing with the couples’ feet every so often so as to annoy them and making as many word puns as he can think of. 

Hyungwon and Hoseok sit together, Hoseok’s arm gently placed around the younger’s shoulders. His other hand is held in between both of Hyungwon’s hands tightly, as if he’s afraid to let go for some reason. 

 

One by one, the members begin to doze off on the couch. Changkyun is the first one to fall, his head resting on Kihyun’s knee. Kihyun follows soon after, his head against Hyunwoo’s broad chest. Hyunwoo’s soft snore ruffles the younger’s soft hair not too long before Minhyuk falls asleep in Jooheon’s arms. Jooheon’s snore resounds against Minhyuk’s neck as his head has fallen forward as he lost consciousness. Hoseok’s heartbeat quickens upon realizing he and Hyungwon are the only ones still awake. He knows this is the perfect opportunity to speak to Hyungwon uninterrupted about what passed between them his first day in the hospital.

“Hyung,” Hyungwon suddenly says in a whisper, turning his gaze from the television and to Hoseok. Hoseok glances over at him, surprised to hear him speak. “Can we go in another room for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.” Hoseok can only manage a nod at the younger’s request, thinking it impossible for him to have been thinking the same thing he was only moments ago. Hyungwon stands and leads Hoseok to their room. He rubs at his eyes, fighting off the drowsiness that threatened to keep him from having this extremely necessary conversation.

“Hyungwonnie, I—“

“Sorry, hyung,” Hyungwon interrupts, holding up a hand, “but I have to get this off my chest.” He waits for an acknowledgment from Hoseok, who only nods as he sits on the edge of his bed. Hyungwon takes a breath before continuing. “When you fainted in the practice room, well, it’s impossible to tell you how I felt. I panicked, yes, and was more scared than I’ve ever been in my entire life. When I saw you unconscious in that hospital bed, I nearly broke down. I realized then how much you mean to me, hyung, how much I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.

“I’ve come to understand that my feelings of love for you aren’t just because you’re a great roommate, hyung, and bandmate. My feelings for you, it seems, run deeper than any of that.” Hyungwon pauses for a breath, something he’d been scared to do until making his point for fear of stopping. “I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable in some way. I don’t expect anything from you, but at the same time I do hope you feel the same way for me.” 

A heartbeat of silence passes, and Hyungwon finds himself bowing nervously.

“Sorry for interrupting you, hyung,” he says. “Please continue.” Hoseok merely blinks at the younger, seemingly surprised by his words. 

Hyungwon suddenly grows scared that he’s misread every interaction he’s had with Hoseok since he woke up in the hospital, every little moment even before then that could’ve meant something more was between them. He worries that in one fatal swoop he’s lost his favorite hyung, maybe forever.

Hoseok stands, closes the gap between them in one step, and smashes his lips against Hyungwon’s. 

At first, Hyungwon doesn’t know how to react. He’s vaguely aware of Hoseok’s hands coming up to either side of his face, as if holding him where he stands. However, this is completely unnecessary for Hyungwon has no intention of moving away. He finds himself closing his eyes, melting into the older’s gentle touch. Hoseok nibbles on his bottom lip after a moment, and Hyungwon immediately parts his lips to allow him entrance. Their tongues dance around in each other’s mouths, memorizing the feel of every crevice.

 

They break apart after some time, breathing heavily and staring at each other with bright eyes and flushed cheeks. Hoseok suddenly laughs, taking Hyungown’s hands in his and kissing them. 

“How is it you always seem to know what’s on my mind, Hyungwonnie?” he finally says, causing the younger to laugh. Hyungwon’s hands drift up to Hoseok’s face, and pulls him close for one last feather-like kiss. 

“Come on,” Hyungwon says, “we should be getting to bed.” Hoseok instinctively waggles his eyebrow suggestively at the younger, earning a small giggle. “Not like that, hyung!” he jokes, punching Hoseok’s arm lightly. Hoseok pouts, rubbing at his bicep. Hyungwon rolls his eyes at this, knowing he didn’t hit hard enough to do any harm. They change into pajamas, Hoseok crawling into bed faster than Hyungwon since he only needed to strip off his shirt and pants. Hyungwon sighs as he turns off the light. He crawls onto Hoseok’s bed beside him, wrapping his arms around the older’s waist. 

“Welcome home,” he whispers affectionately, planting a soft kiss on his neck. A wonderful tingling sensation blossoms from where Hyungwon’s lips touched Hoseok’s neck, and he can’t help but smile.

“It’s good to be back,” Hoseok says, and they fall into a deep sleep.


	8. Epilogue

The next morning, the two are found by a drowsy Changkyun. He wakes them up, telling them to get ready for the day. Hoseok merely cuddles closer to Hyungwon in response, who still is snoring softly beside them. 

“Don’t make me go get Kihyun-hyung,” Changkyun threatens. Hoseok groans in aggravation, grabbing a pillow and aiming it at the maknae’s head, who dodges easily as he leaves the room. Hyungwon murmurs something in his sleep, moving away from Hoseok and rubbing his eyes. Hoseok stares at the younger, made breathless by how beautiful a thing it is to wake up beside him. He turns on his other side, facing Hyungwon, and rests his head on his chest as he watches the taller wake up.

Hyungwon feels around for his glasses without opening his eyes, and pushes them onto his face upon finding them. Hoseok can’t hold back the grin he has as he watches Hyungwon open his eyes for the first time that day. Hyungwon stares at Hoseok, as if trying to figure out why the older is so close to him so early, but then a smile breaks out over his face. He remembers the conversation they had the night before, his heart warming at the memory.

“Good morning,” Hoseok greets first, leaning forward to plant a kiss on the younger’s plump lips. Hyungwon smiles against the kiss, deciding that waking up isn’t as bad as it has been in the past if this is the way he’s to do it from now on.

“Chae Hyungwon!” Kihyun’s yell breaks through their comfortable silence. The short man storms into the room, a mixing spoon in his hand seemingly ready to swat at whoever’s nearest. “Chae Hyungwon! Wake up! We have a full day of cleaning ahead.” Hyungwon groans in protest, covering his face with a long hand. Kihyun smirks upon realizing Hyungwon isn’t in his own bed. “If you two think I’m washing whatever stains you two made in those sheets last night, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“Hyung!” Hyungwon whines, grabbing another pillow and pressing it against his burning cheeks. Kihyun chuckles to himself, leaving the room to return to the kitchen to finish up breakfast.

 

Two weeks later, the boys are walking along the sidewalk on a free day. As usual, the parents lead them, followed by Hoseok and Hyungwon, and Jooheon and Minhyuk bring up the rear. Changkyun moves between the couples, messing with whoever is willing to play along with his antics. 

He comes up to Hoseok, stopping him midsentence with a “bluhbluhbluhbluh”. Hoseok chuckles, swatting playfully at the youngest.

“Noisy brat,” he comments as the maknae bounces away, giggling maniacally. 

“Mom,” Minhyuk calls in a whining tone, causing Kihyun to whip his head around with an annoyed glare, “can’t we go get a kitten today? Ooh, ooh, what about a puppy?!” Kihyun rolls his eyes, easily dashing the older’s hopes of getting a pet.

“I wouldn’t mind having a kitten,” Hyungwon murmurs to no one in particular. Hoseok tightens his hold on the younger’s hand. 

“Maybe one day,” he says, “we’ll be able to get you one.” Hyungwon smiles over at him, delighted by the mere notion of being with Hoseok so far into the future that they’d be able to get a pet together. 

“What’re we going to do today?” Changkyun asks as he returns to Kihyun’s side. Kihyun hums in thought, glancing over at Hyunwoo for suggestions.

“Ice cream!” Jooheon suggests, noticing the small ice cream shop they’re coming to. Hyunwoo nods almost immediately, earning a knowing chuckle from the group. They all go into the ice cream shop, getting the flavors they desire before continuing on their way.

Hyungwon and Hoseok’s fingers curl around each other as they walk in-step with one another, each letting the other taste what flavors they had gotten. They share a smile, their grips on each other tightening as they know they won’t be letting go for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello all! Thank you again for reading/supporting this fic, it really means a lot that so many of you are enjoying it! However, this story has officially come to an end. It was really fun writing, and I hope you enjoyed the experience as much as I did. If any of you would like to request fic ideas, feel free to message/follow me on Instagram and/or Twitter (account names are listed below). Again, thank you all for reading this story! I'll see you all in the next one!
> 
> MONSTA X fighting! Monbebe fighting!
> 
> Twitter: @ReeLeeV1  
> Instagram: @mx_mbb_trash


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